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Joke of the Day

"Why was 10 traumatized? Because it was in the middle of 9/11"

"If someone gossips to you, you can bet they also gossip about you..."

"I'll never forget the first time I had sex That's because I kept the receipt!"

"A man is knocked out during a robbery.His wife and children are brutally murdered- Pixar: Gee it's kinda dark ...Ok a FISH is- Pix: YES."

"What's the difference between inlaws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted!"

"Q: How does Hitler tie his shoes? A: With little Nazis."

"If you look up ""cool"" in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of me. I like to deface dictionaries."

"To the squirrel carrying the mushroom up a tree to his nest: you may want to eat that with your feet firmly on the ground, buddy."

"You can make up any word you want in conversation and if you use it in a dilsationary way, people rarely question the meaning."

"It's hard to take Star Trek's vision of the future seriously since everyone's not constantly on Twitter."