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Joke of the Day

"Yo mama so greasy she sweats Crisco!"

"Are you saying that if I shoot you with a pistol, you won't get hurt? Why don't you give it a shot?"

"Catch 22: Husband said if I quit Twitter he would pay for a boob job. But if I had huge jugs I would get tons of new followers. Sigh."

"My girlfriend said to me in bed last night, 'you're a pervert' I said, 'that's a big word for a girl of nine.'"

"Hacker 1: She wrote her password recovery questions. H2: So? H1: ""Fav Law of Thermodynamics?"" There's more than one? H2: F this. Who's next?"

"What is the purpose of the bumps around a womens nipple? It's braille for blind babies... -=Women=- It spells out ....""Suck here"" -=Men=- "" I am the daddy """

"Where does a vampire go to buy his sheets and towels? Bloodbath&Beyond"

"Having a ""20 items or less"" express lane at Wal-Mart is pointless when your customers don't know how to count."

"What did the old man get for his birthday? Cancer."

"Before I say a wtc joke... On a scale of 9 to 11, how offended are you by it?"