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Joke of the Day

"What do you NEVER call a black man? a friend"

"What's a buddhists favourite curry? Chicken karma"

"Siri: Retweet me."

"[Jewish Joke] What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall? They break their nose. (note - I'm Jewish so this is OK)"

"America sure is having some bad luck It's almost like it was built on an ancient Indian burial ground."

"Whenever I flush a bug down the toilet, I have to watch and make sure it dosen't come back, zombie style, with revenge in it's tiny heart."

"The key to comedy? Perfect del ivery"

"What did the doctor say when he saw two fetuses being too affectionate in public? ""Get a womb, you two."""

"Friend: Dude, you need to get into her pants. Me: [imagining how soft her leggings would feel over my thighs] YES"

"Where do criminal spiders hang out? The deep web"