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Joke of the Day

"Go into the confessional today and see how long it takes the priest to realize you're describing Batman's life."

"How do you know Princess Diana has dandruff? They found her Head and Shoulders in the glovebox."

"MOST LETTERS Q: What two words contain the most letters? A: Post office."

"Why doesn't Santa hitch his sleigh to a pig? Pigs don't have red noses."

"*builds time machine* *goes back in time 183 days* *earth is on the other side of the sun* *dies in space*"

"Hear about the Donald's ""high energy"" masturbation kit? Tweezers and a magnifying glass."

"What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla? The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year."

"Dad Joke: Help! There's a letter coming out of the water! It's an emerging 'C'."

"There's no law that says you can't use a tiny pancake as an eyepatch."

"Why don't lobsters share? Because they're shellfish..."