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Joke of the Day

"It's odd to hold a ""World Series"" and not invite other countries. But it's weirder to hold a ""Miss Universe"" and not invite other planets."

"By 5, the human child can walk and feed itself, but doesn't yet stray from home, as it relies on parents for tablet charging and maintenance"

"I entered a contest to see how fast I could eat a clock. I didn't win. The whole ordeal was very time consuming."

"What do you call a monster with two wooden heads? Edward Woodward."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? . Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat"

"Your bad Bon-Bon jokes - post em What do you call a man with a spade on his head? .. Doug Got a set of tweezers as the toy as well. Hours of fun right there."

"In Soviet Russia, Russia Soviet."

"Police vs Driver Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"What noise does a witch make when she's flyin around? BROOM BROOM BROOOOOOOM"

"The number one cause of teenage pregnancy is sluts."