96749

Joke of the Day

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ...bah dum tsh."

"Every time I try to pick up chicks a description of my car ends up on the news."

"New acronym we need: IDOCHBEI ""I'm doing okay considering how bad everything is."" Pronounced: ""ih-DOCK-bay"""

"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a butterfly Will you say what you mean and stop flitting about!"

"College spelled backwards is ""egelloc""... ...which makes no sense just like everything i've learnt in college"

"The world's fastest boxer invited anyone to try to avoid his fists... There was no punchline."

"I've never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot."

"[At microphone] *clears throat* ""Salsa. Ballet. Conga. Waltz. Jitterbug. Tap."" *crowd cheers* ""Thanks for attending my dance recital."""

"I've wanted to have a conversation with my wife about getting each of us Segways to ride around town in... But whenever I bring it up she always changes the topic."

"My girlfriend told me I'm her 32nd lover Turns out what she really meant was I'm her thirty second lover"