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Joke of the Day
"I give everyone nicknames because using real names is for people who can remember people's names."
Next Joke
"Damn girl, are you today's date? Because you're 10/10 I know we've been doing anti-joke pick up lines but this only comes once a year."
"What so you call an Asian jew? Jew Lee"
"My mouth smells like a cave someone shoved a bunch of dead animals into, because that's what it is."
"""I'm sooo wasted,"" said My Opportunities."
"Whats all of this fuss about reposts? I haven't seem any all year! (It's 12:00 NZST)"
"I got banned from the sperm bank the other day... They said I couldn't come within five hundred feet of the building."
"Every time I delete a selfie, I imagine the sound of a Gremlin being burned alive by the sunlight."
"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage"
"Why'd they call the egg a pimp? Because he got ova easy."