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Joke of the Day

"A SHIT JOKE.... Two flies are sitting on a shit. One farted and the other one said ""Do you mind ? I'm eating here....."

"After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. ""No hablo ingles."""

"Why suicidal people are usually skinny because most likely, they haven't eaten in years."

"What do girls and parking spaces have in common? All the good ones are taken and the rest are disabled"

"Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way, but his food will become a pizza history."

"A senior partner with a herniated disc limps into a conference room Coworker 1: ""I feel like the world's moving in slow motion"" (pause) Coworker 1: ""Oh wait, it's just Charlie"" (motions at partner)"

"Why did the semen cross the road? Because I hadn't masturbated for a month. Seriously, when I ejaculated it was six feet. Which was unusual, as usually it's cum. Strange day."

"God: Basically u just chill. Cow: Nice. God: I mean, at first. Cow: ...then? God: Then people murder u to eat ur insides & wear u as a coat."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Tyrana**sore ass** Rex"

"Why did the weather want privacy? -It was changing"