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Joke of the Day

"I was gonna tell a gay joke... ~~butt fuck it.~~ though I decided not to because it would offend the members of the LGBT community."

"in the darkest corner of my room, dick cheney sits brooding, waiting til i fall asleep. or it's a lampshade. kinda dark and i'm nearsighted."

"after u die u do the same life again on a higher difficulty setting. more relationships fail and more loved ones die. certain dogs explode"

"Roses Rose are red, Violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic And so am I"

"A Scotsman walks into a bar.... There is usually an Englishman, an Irishman and a Welshman, but they're all still in France :("

"What do you call that lever on a desk chair that adjusts lower back support? The Lumbar Jack"

"What does a geography graduate do with a lightbulb? Not get a job."

"What idiot named it balding & not vanishing into thin hair."

"A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking. Didn't I see you on a TV commercial? How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?"

"Barbie sets an unrealistic ideal for young girls. Women can't be doctors."