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Joke of the Day

"I saw a man at the beach going ""Help! Shark! Help!"" I laughed because I knew that the shark wasn't going to help him."

"I think it's obvious that Goo Goo Dolls and Lady Gaga should do a side project together and call it Goo Goo Gaga."

"What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection? A quarter-pounder with cheese."

"Survival tip: If a clown starts making a balloon chainsaw, run like hell."

"It funny that when it's black on white, it's a crime. When it it's white on black, it's a hate crime."

"My ex girlfriend really wanted me to pee on her but it was weird for me so I just called 911"

"What kind of man was Boaz before he got married? Ruth-less."

"Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ? Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !"

"What do you do to a chemist after they die? You Barium"

"I shot my first turkey today! Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section though."