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Joke of the Day

"in the darkest corner of my room, dick cheney sits brooding, waiting til i fall asleep. or it's a lampshade. kinda dark and i'm nearsighted."

"Girl are you a dinosaur? Cuz jurassic."

"I like my women like I like my steak Dead"

"""No shit, Sherlock"" ""Keep digging, Watson"""

"TIFU By posting in the wrong subreddit"

"What do you call a Japanese kid the explodes? A loli-pop"

"I'm not racist, but black people sure were nicer before the civil rights movement."

"My wife said she wanted to have a space of her own in the house... I said, ""Of course, honey. Whatever makes you happy. From now on I'm not going to set foot in the kitchen."""

"We're probably like 10 years away from ppl running for president strictly for more Twitter followers"

"Why did the bee get married? He found his honey!"