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Joke of the Day
"""prepare for battle"" they said Yet they didnt prepare themselves"
Next Joke
"I photobombed my pal's passport photo & now they won't let him through customs unless I'm behind him waving my hands in the air like a putz."
"I bought a laser pointer, but I don't have a cat. So I 'borrowed' my neighbor's toddler, but he doesn't seem to get it. Babies are stupid."
"I always watch the credits at the end of a movie just to see if there's a chance I got drunk and stumbled onto the set."
"I stopped leaning against walls because I couldn't trust the establishment..."
"You know who'd make a good hobbit? Elijah would."
"What's the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four."
"You should never go grocery shopping when you're hungry and never go clothes shopping when you're naked."
"What did the terrorist say to the police before he blew up the building? C4 yourself!"
"Two mental health counselors happen to meet each other at the mall... *""You seem fine!""*, says one to the other, *""How am I?""*"