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Joke of the Day

"[being robbed] Me: careful.. I'm ARMED *whips out bible Robber: lol *pulls gun out of bible R: oh *pulls smaller bible out of gun"

"What do you get when you put two Beta Fish in the same tank? One Alpha Fish."

"Yo mama's so fat.. ..that she takes a selfie in panorama"

"How many bears would Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears? None. He'd eat them raw!"

"I dropped my phone in the bath Now it's syncing."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock, because Jill's real name was Randy."

"The Nigerian Government is now offering a $3m reward for the safe return of the missing girls. All you need to do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother's maiden name."

"Do you play volleyball? Because you look like your good on ur knees!"

"What do you call a group of Jewish friends? Hebros."

"I'm an 'adult', so why do I dance a little and look around nervously when I find a $20 bill in my jeans I didn't know was there..."