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Joke of the Day

"Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy. Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock, because Jill's real name was Randy."

"What is the biggest mistake Steve Jobs ever made? He thought it was ""being at Apple every day"", not ""eating an apple every day""."

"Just heard local reports of a stalker, which is funny because I watch everyone through their windows and none of them look suspicious"

"Q: What is the basement where White House staffers work called? A: The whine cellar."

"The concepts of ""History"", ""Discovery"", and ""Learning"" should be embarrassed by each of their respective Channels."

"I'll never understand women. A species that loathes you for asking their age, but tortures you forever if you forget their birthday."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bernadette ! Bernadette who ? Bernadette ate all my dinner and now I'm starving !"

"Where did the man go after the explosion? All over."

"Give it to me! Give it to me!"" she yelled, ""I'm so wet, give it to me now!"" She could scream all she wanted to. I was keeping the umbrella."

"Not trying to be racist or ignorant but...nnseriously, all crocodiles and alligators look alike."