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Joke of the Day

"The Australian Cricket Team."

"I'm gonna be so pissed if I die in the middle of an argument I'm about to win."

"I am never more aware that I don't have boobs than when I'm paying for my own drink."

"Einstein used science to get laid; that guy is a genius... I've been using money."

"What cow produces milk and potatoes Your mother."

"My first middle-school football game was just like the time i lost my virginity. Bloody and dirty, but at least my dad came."

"my girlfriends dad asked me what I do but apparently your daughter wasn't the answer"

"""I'd like to prescribe you a topical ointment for that skin condition,"" my doctor said. ""Woah, woah, woah, doc,"" I replied. ""Let's not make any rash decisions."""

"origami is a great idea on paper, but in reality folding a swan will kill it."

"PREGNANCY TEST! Girl: Dad, what's better? to pass or to fail? Dad: To pass obviously Girl: OH GOOD, YOU'LL BE PROUD OF ME! I PASSED MY PREGNANCY TEST!"