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Joke of the Day

"It takes a village to raise a child so I dropped the kids off at my neighbors house with a note: ""your turn"""

"The cost of living has gone up so much that my wife is now having sex with me as she can't afford the batteries now !!'"

"I haven't been laid in so long that the Pope is laughing at me."

"In America, we decide to bomb people after a week of reflection, but have debated the legality of smoking a plant for 40 years"

"The person that invented toilet paper is easily the most under-appreciated hero in human history"

"there's a new chocolate bar being sold in the middle east called Allahu Snackbar"

"This third bottle of wine has turned everything into a microphone."

"Ever ask yourself who, in a perfect world, would raise a child? The answer should be apparent."

"What do you call the useless objects a company possesses? Asshats (assets - asshats)"

"What's the difference between Det. Rust Cohle and a psychopath? Psychopaths are fun at parties."