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Joke of the Day

"*UFO attacks* Govt: It's a weather balloon. *UFO destroys Eiffel Tower* Govt: Weather balloon. *UFO conquers Earth* Govt: Weather balloon."

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"What do you call a redneck family of bakers? Inbread!"
"People who say losing weight is ""just math"" clearly have no idea how far out of my way I go to avoid math."
"Did you hear about the Mexican racist? He joined the que que que."
"A man walks into a graveyard bar ""Can I get a beer?"" he asks as he walks up to the bar. ""I'm sorry,"" replies the bartender. ""We serve only spirits."""
"Me : I wanna go home Boss: where's your dedication? Me : I left it at home can I go get it ?"
"Forgot my Fitbit because it was charging and now it's like I walked for no reason."
"A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says ""hey! We have a drink named after you!"" And the grasshopper says ""You have a drink named Steve?!"""
"What supplement did Stallone take during the Rocky films? Ginkgo Balboa"
"[Halloween] Me: How adorable! I love your ghost costume! 14: *sigh* I AM NOT A GHOST! I'M SHEET-FACED."
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