117612

Joke of the Day

"Never trust a dog to watch your food."

"VJ Day Because Hirohito was a cunt."

"If I don't get off Reddit, my dad says he will smash my head against the keybosdqAFQ#D!E"

"well, son, we named you after where you were conceived; that's why you're called The Frightening, Tyrannical Hellscape of Obama's America"

"What do McDonald's and a pedophile have in common? They both stick their meat between seven-year-old buns."

"The bartender says, ""hey we don't serve neutrinos in here!"" A neutrino walks into a bar."

"My dog just got into a bottle of Tums She is now a basic bitch."

"What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same"

"Ten times I've watched that episode of Friends where Rachel has the baby, just so I'll be emotionally ready when my wife delivers tomorrow."

"I've learnt a lot from the movies over the years, such as how to count using Roman numerals... I, II, III, IV, V, Balboa."