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Joke of the Day

"Just saw a large group of 20 yr olds saying a blessing before eating. Then I realized they were all just looking at their phones."

"Farmer Giles is so interested in conserving energy he built a pig-powered car. He has to get rid of it though. Every time he turns a corner the tires squeal"

"Hear about the lazy baker who wanted a pay increase? He rarely kneeded the dough."

"Why does a rooster watch TV ? For hentertainment !"

"I always squat on the floor, wrap my arms around my knees and lean forward Cause that's how I roll."

"They were just called ranch doritos until they started smoking parliaments and listening to mumford and sons"

"A blind man walks into a bar And then a chair. And then a table"

"My walk of shame is putting back the 9 boxes of assorted cereals that my wife found in the grocery cart."

"I like my women how I like my wine... 12 years old and locked in my basement"

"What did the one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing they just waved! Did you sea what I did there? I'm shore you did, beach."