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Joke of the Day
"A blind man walks into a bar And then a chair. And then a table"
Next Joke
"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a giant scorpion.."
"[last day at job] ""You've made my life a misery, I hate you all"" [remembers my car is in the garage and I need a lift] ""Not you tho Phil"""
"I hope there's a special place in Hell for me. I'd hate to be lumped in with all those other assholes."
"Its World Malaria Day on 25th April. But what do you get the mosquito that has everything?"
"What kind of bugs bother sporting dogs? Ath-fleats!"
"AVENGERS ASSEMBLE! THOR: ""here"" IRON MAN: ""here"" HULK: ""here"" PHIL COLLINS - ""here"" ... ok Phil how do u keep getting into S.H.I.E.L.D man"
"Everything is made from matter... That's why everything matters."
"In a car it's illegal to not wear a seatbelt. But I guess if you're on a bus they figure death will be a sweet relief."
"[after robots take over] *drones crash into my kitchen* ME: [mouthful of ham] whobithrayed me? *fridge starts laughing* BUT U WERE MY FABRIT"