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Joke of the Day

"The worst part of getting a chain wallet for your birthday is that now you have 3 days to send 10 chain wallets to your friends."

"Last time I saw my boyfriend he was getting on a plane to Helsinki. You might say he vanished into Finnair."

"It sucks when something bad happens to someone you hate. Nobody will let you gloat. It's like you can't even enjoy your own joy."

"What's the opposite of Easter? Wester"

"Me: HOLY SHIT! We've been robbed! Her: Oh No! Are you calling the police? Me: (Sigh) No, I'm calling the burglars to congratulate them.."

"JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business."

"If you don't like the idea of wiping someone's ass in the middle of eating a delicious meal, you probably shouldn't become a parent."

"I got a purebred Beagle puppy for my wife I thought it was an awesome trade."

"I respect older people because they made it through school without Google OR Wikipedia."

"Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting? Criminal: I answered an ad that said ""Make money at home."""