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Joke of the Day

"Me: HOLY SHIT! We've been robbed! Her: Oh No! Are you calling the police? Me: (Sigh) No, I'm calling the burglars to congratulate them.."

"A kid goes up to his dad with a question... ""Dad, can I ask you something?"" ""Of course."" ""You and mom are both white, but I'm black. Why?"" ""That party was so wild, it's a wonder you don't bark."""

"[Starbucks meeting] ME: Sorry I'm ""latte"" haha BOSS: Aren't you the guy we fired for biting a customer"

"Where is the best place to eat on a leap day? IHOP"

"I accidently put my USB through the washing machine It's still works, but it's really clean now. All the porn is gone."

"Hey mate! Your girl looks like a horse... Are you in a stable relationship?"

"The crossing lights in Chuck Norris's home town say ""Die slowly"" and ""die quickly"". They each have a picture of Chuck Norris punching or kicking a pedestrian."

"What has 90 balls and screws old women? Bingo!"

"What does one tampon say to the other? Nothing, they're both stuck up bitches"

"Q: What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards? A: A receding hare-line."