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Joke of the Day

"A dad joke which you can use.. Young Man: I've come to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. Girl's Father: You've got to take all of her or it's no deal."

"If your mom still washes your underwear, you're not allowed to have an opinion about anything."

"Nothing makes me turn off my car and start leisurely tweeting faster than someone honking at me to pull out of a parking space."

"What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers? There's none, both like clubbing."

"10yr old sons joke: Why was ""C"" afraid of all the other letters ? They are all ""Not-C's"" !"

"Reporter: What made you go out on that dangerous pond ice and risk your life to save a friend? Boy Hero: I had to do it. He had my skates on."

"Did you hear that the Pope might quit? I guess there's just not enough altar boys to go around in the Vatican"

"A priest and a rabbi are standing on a corner when a 5 year old boy walks by. The priest says, ""Hey. Let's fuck that boy"". Replied the rabbi, ""out of what?""."

"What do you call man without toes? What do you call a man without toes and is allergic to milk? Lack-toes intolerant!!"

"Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans."