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Joke of the Day

"optimist: the glass is half full optimist - the glass is half full; pessimist - the glass is half empty; feminist - the glass is being raped."

"My mom read Tolstoy at 12. She has a great career. She knows the capital of every country. She just asked me to put internet in her Facebook"

"Last weekend I prevented a rape. It didn't take much. You can do it too. I finally convinced her"

"I think I'm gonna make a bracelet that supports getting rid of bracelets that support stuff."

"elevator operator my career as an elevator operator was very up and down."

"Why does America have so many boasting Republicans? Because it needs some bragging rights."

"Why do bears' mouths water whenever they look at Trump? Because they think that thing on his head (his hair) is an animal and they want to eat it."

"My husband and I are having a serious fight. Do you think I should let him know about it?"

"Voting booths are like brothels You have to decide which ass you want."

"Just met a HOT girl So I just met this hot girl. Problem is she had 12 nipples. Sounds weird.... Dozen Tit?"