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Joke of the Day

"One time I accidentally listened to a John Mayer song & spontaneously generated 2 thumb rings before it was over."

"Girl are you a tube of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls because I want to bang you on the counter"

"What do you call a mean Potato? A Dictator."

"When someone asks me where I see myself in 5 years... I dunno...I don't have 2020 vision."

"hear about the guy who got an Indian tattooed on his arm his arm stopped working"

"Girlfriend gone and no Internet. Just jerked off to Halo menu screen music."

"For my new tattoo, I'm totally getting a chest piece of a chess piece, cause its fun to be a pun."

"Gay or straight, No state should legally recognize a marriage if they don't serve alcohol at the wedding."

"What kind of hotdog did the Buddha order from the street vendor? One with everything"

"What did the plant say to the vegan? Leaf me alone."