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Joke of the Day

"What did the plant say to the vegan? Leaf me alone."

"(NSWF) Why did Micheal Jackson go to JC Penny? He heard little boys pants were 50% off..."

"Linkin Park My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday...she said she couldn't stand my Linkin Park references anymore, but I guess in the end...it doesn't even matter."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs playing in a pile of leaves? Rustle"

"Alcoholism doesn't run in my family. It walks. You spill less beer that way."

"I finally decided on my Halloween costume. I'm going to go as a French pancake chef; that'll really give people the crepes."

"Forgot to do laundry again. I bet everyone at work is going to love my prom dress."

"Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? He comes once a year! :-)"

"Having Gay parents is the worst. You either get double the amount of Dad Jokes or stuck in an infinite loop of ""Go ask your mother""."

"When Facebook goes down, everyone comes to Twitter to talk about it. When Twitter goes down, the world falls mute."