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Joke of the Day

"Girl are you a tube of Pillsbury cinnamon rolls because I want to bang you on the counter"

"How did Donald Trump won with his poor vocabulary? He's the only candidate that America finally understands.."

"A patient came to his dentist with problems with his teeth. Patient: Doctor I have yellow teeth what do I do? Dentist: Wear a brown tie!"

"4yo: Can I have some more Easter candy? Me: After lunch 4yo: I want lunch right now. I'm starving!! Me: We just ate breakfast 4yo: Starving!"

"I'm opening a bar called The Office. You're welcome guys. ""Be home soon sweetie, I'm at The Office"""

"priest: ""does anyone here know why these two should not be wed?"" me: ""SHE LEAVES THE VOLUME ON ODD NUMBERS"" priest: [slowly closes bible]"

"If Shakespeare was a pun master Then he would make a play on words"

"What does a lumberjack and a trio of Irishmen have in common? They're both tree fellers."

"Dark humor is like food Not everyone gets it."

"What rhymes with orange? No it doesn't!"