9604

Joke of the Day

"""You're bleeding because you don't floss"" Me: No, I'm bleeding because I ate the entire bowl of deceivingly fake fruit in your waiting room."

"What does Canadian Fonzie say? Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Eh?"

"The problem with the rest of the world is that they are always 5 drinks behind."

"Let's hear it for snow!.. The only time that four inches can keep a woman in bed all day."

"What would Valve call the next world war? A Global Offensive."

"I went to an Anglican church recently... They do communion a little bit differently there. You just walk up, kneel down, and the priest sticks it in your mouth."

"I only studied genetics so I would know who to blame."

"My sister bet me I couldn't make a czar out of spaghetti... Boy was she surprised when I introduced her to [Ditalini of Pereslav](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dmitry_of_Pereslavl)!"

"Would you rather have parkinsons or alzheimers? Personally I'd rather have parkinsons, cos I'd rather have half a pint than forget where I've put it!"

"What do the chronically late have in common with sex traffickers? They both ""run behind""."