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Joke of the Day
"Me: I'll have a beer Waiter: it's 10am Me: I'll have a beer and some scrambled eggs"
Next Joke
"I tried to catch fog yesterday... Mist."
"Dear Jesus- please let all my texts go to the correct person- Amen"
"Pretty sure that Twitter is not one of the seven habits of highly effective people."
"Paranoid Mexicans have a Hispanic room."
"What do you call a family in which everyone from grand parents to grand kids smoke weed? Joint Family."
"Quitting the gym because it's easier, quicker and cheaper to simply invite my friends over for dinner every day and make them fatter than me"
"I Told my Friend She Drew Her Eyebrows on too High She seemed surprised."
"Thank you all for the Happy Birthday wishes!!! Had a GREAT DAY!!! (didn't read a single one)"
"The first time I took a Viagra it got stuck in my throat I had a stiff neck for 2 days"