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Joke of the Day

"I was arrested for having sex with a 15 year old girl... I dunno, I thought she was older than that. I guess that makes two reasons why I'm a bad father."

"A True Nymphomaniac Convention. Everyone came."

"What did the nihilist say to the physicist? Nevermind, it doesn't really matter."

"A blind man got a cheese grater for his birthday He said it was the most violent thing he's ever read."

"How can you tell if a Finnish guy likes you? He's staring at your shoes instead of his own."

"What's the difference between a joke and a religion? Jokes are rarely offered as an excuse for civilised people to kill other people."

"Russian family conversation ""Papa, can I have 10 rubl?"" ""20 rubl? Why you need 30 rubl!?"""

"""You're stepping on all the cracks, but you don't have to worry about it because your mother's dead"" - my seven-year-old to me this morning"

"What do you say to a pregnant woman who wants to force her child to become a Rabbi? When is the baby Jew?"

"changed my voice settings to Spanish on my gps it told me i didn't have enough people in the car"