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Joke of the Day

"I was arrested for having sex with a 15 year old girl... I dunno, I thought she was older than that. I guess that makes two reasons why I'm a bad father."

"For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job..."

"What led to the discovery of gravitational waves? A simple game of hopscotch: Me v. Yo Mama"

"Two toasters are sitting on a counter. One toaster turns to the other and says, ""Do you sometimes feel empty?"" To which the other toaster replies, ""OH MY GOD! A talking toaster!"""

"What were Luke Skywalker's favourite model cars to play with as a kid? Toyodas"

"What's the difference between having sex and killing animals? One is OK to do for fun but not OK to do for profit, the other is vice versa."

"Baby come over. I'm coming over. Using walkie talkies in bed is strange over."

"Dr to nurse! Dr to nurse: ""How much has this man had to drink?"" Nurse: ""I can't tell."" Dr: ""It's ok; you can tell me. I'm a doctor"""

"A man got hit hard in the head with a bottle of 7up. He's alright though,it was a soft drink."

"What's the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits until a boy is at least 14 before coming on his face."