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Joke of the Day

"How do stones stop moths eating your clothes ? Because rolling stones gather no moths !"

"I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... ""Come here Stay! Come here Stay!"" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd."

"If Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton, and Bernie Sanders were stuck on an island, who would survive? America"

"This one's for all you self-actualized people out there. You know who you are."

"Why didn't the string get anything for Christmas? Because he was knotty!"

"Don't go broke trying to look rich... act your wage'"

"Being an adult is mainly drinking coffee and pretending to be productive."

"Q: Why do blondes put rulers on their foreheads? A: They want to measure their intelligence."

"Failed another job interview today. Apparently taking part in an orgy isn't proof that you can effectively work as part of a team"

"I never took Complex Anal. in college So I had to find out about the residue theorem the hard way."