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Joke of the Day

"DEFENSE: Your Honor, will you allow my client to escape? JUDGE: I'll allow it PROSECUTOR: Aw WTF JUDGE: Let's see where he goes with this"

"My girlfriend has just bet me I couldn't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face as I drove pasta."

"What's the difference between an entomologist and an etymologist? An etymologist knows."

"How does John Lennon get his kids to eat their vegetables? He tells them to ""Give Peas a Chance"""

"TRUMP: I just killed & ate a homeless man MEDIA: You're a monster TRUMP: This sort of political correctness is what's ruining our country"

"What can turn a fox into an elephant? A marriage certificate."

"Cute waiter: Hi, what can I get for you? Me: *accidentally barks*"

"What do Driving Testers and Vegetarians have in common? They are both very pedantic"

"What's the difference between Trump and a pile of poop? A pile of poop is naturally brown."

"On one side of me was Dwayne Johnson, and the other, a stone fish. I guess I was just between the Rock and a hard plaice."