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Joke of the Day

"A beaver ran into his ex. ""Sorry,"" he said, ""I wood like to catch up but I'm dam sure I can't bite off more time."""

"I will not eat a donut. I will not eat a donut. I will not eat... I will not eat a third donut. I will not eat a third donut."

"I dropped my phone in the bath Now it's syncing."

"With all the hate about the black clone trooper He is a clone of Jango Fett brother, Django Fett. http://pmcvariety.files.wordpress.com/2014/11/star-wars-teaser.png?w=670&h=351&crop=1"

"How many Orthodox Hasidic Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, ya mensch. It's Shabbat."

"""This joke is told through a third persons omniscient point of view."" Said the guy who wanted everyone to know that he had gotten an A in his literature class."

"Just finished a book about an immortal pet dog. I couldn't put it down."

"What did the dementia patient say to the other dementia patient? I forgot."

"Wanna hear a joke about the mods? [deleted]"

"My wife thinks I'm too drunk to take the goldfish for a walk, but I'll show her!"