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Joke of the Day
"midterms and finals are like prayers to god. i never get answers."
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"Strangers on a Train"
"Pulled a bird the other night... She begged me to give her 8 inches and make it hurt. So I fucked her twice and punched in her in the kidneys."
"I will not tolerate watching the neighbourhood kids bully my nephew. So I keep the curtains closed."
"Right now, somewhere in China, someone is wokking their dog"
"I'm tired of the bad jokes, dad. Doubt you can hear me anyway. I'm pullin' the plug. ""...hi pullin' the plug, I'm da-"" *pulls the plug*"
"What does a gay rooster say? ""Anycockledoooooo!"""
"What do you call a pall-bearer in Oklahoma? a Karaoke"
"I asked a sexy chinese girl for her number, she replied sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight... I said wow, I must be in luck, until her friend grabbed me and said, she means 6663629"
"I asked a homeless woman if I could take her home. She shyly said yes.... so I took her cardboard box and left."