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Joke of the Day
"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. jk, rolling."
Next Joke
"I used to have a job involving crushing cans....... It was soda pressing!"
"Why is there no such thing as an epileptic exhibitionist? Because flashing gives them seizures."
"What do you call a lock with low self-confidence? Insecure."
"How do you know when you are too drunk to drive? When you swerve to miss a tree and then realise it was your air freshener.."
"santa claus visits everyone Q: What did Santa Clause say when he came down Lindsay Lohan's chimney and found her spending Christmas Eve with her pals Miley Cyrus and Paris Hilton? A: Ho, ho, ho!"
"s/o to parallel lines for keeping that shit platonic and never crossing. they keep a healthy professional work ethic"
"Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities."
"Do people ever come up and sing your own songs to you? Dave Grohl: Literally all the time Me: What if I say I'm not like the others?"
"I once dated a mortician... it didn't work out because I'm not that much of a mourning person. Though she was a real head-turner."