74553

Joke of the Day

"s/o to parallel lines for keeping that shit platonic and never crossing. they keep a healthy professional work ethic"

"I can't believe Penn State took the Joe Paterno Statue down. They should have just turned it so it looked the other way."

"I think her gash must have a rash For the last time I licked it, my head went bare, my tongue grew hair, and my nose fell off when I picked it"

"[watching TV] GF: Tickle my back please ME: Is that nice? GF: Little bit higher ME: [very slightly squeaky voice] Is that nice?"

"What's the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't Jelly my dick in an ass."

"Shawty: Where's the naan brad Lad: there's naan left..."

"HER: I like talking during sex, but I can't stand it when you narrate the whole thing ME: As she complains, I begin removing my pants slowly"

"Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked."

"Tomatoes are a rich source of lycopene (werewolf dick)."

"""Video games are art,"" I say as I change my created Madden player Todd Poopman's height to 6'9""."