198273

Joke of the Day

"I used to have a job involving crushing cans....... It was soda pressing!"

"Just finished building Rome with Legos. Took me a day."

"Taking a nap until my carbon monoxide detector stops beeping."

"BIack friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library I said its 2014 man you can use what ever printer you want."

"I always write great unit tests Wouldn't want a careless bug to crash one of my viruses."

"I feel ripped off. I was with a bunch of kids today and not one of them said anything even remotely darndest."

"Well if we're doing pirate jokes, here's one a classmate dropped on us: What's a pirate's favorite movie about the Iranian Hostage Crisis? Arrrrrrrrrgo."

"[on 1st date] Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before? Her: No, I'd love to Me: Same Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim"

"What is a neckbeard's favorite language? M'lay."

"How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake"