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Joke of the Day

"My Grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"My next tattoo will be ""helvetica"" written in Arial. When a woman corrects me on it, I will marry her"

"Why couldn't the boarder throw out his collection of potted ferns? They were his best fronds."

"You guys ever try boiled pasta? It's not as crunchy but it's alright"

"sometimes when i'm doing my taxes i'm like maybe prison would be easier"

"Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company? He took a day off"

"What's the coolest kind of surgery? Hip surgery."

"What can a yakuza do for living when he doesn't want to hurt people? tattoo master"

"What is Palpatine's favourite breakfast pastry? Coruscant"

"If horse jockeys have to be tiny just imagine how small disk jockeys have to be. I'll see myself out."