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Joke of the Day

"My Grandfather has the heart of a lion... and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"I was writing a joke about a stone rolling up a hill, but it lost momentum. It still has potential."

"I like my women like I like my corn. On the cob, I mean on my junk, I mean I didn't think this joke through"

"My post on /r/bombs made the front page Edit: holy shit this blew up"

"What did the Rei say to the Hachi? Nice obi!"

"When it comes to sex. No means yes. and yes? that means anal."

"If you don't want to play with me I'll just play with myself! - Overheard in 2nd grade today... Me too kid, me too."

"What are caterpillars afraid of? DOGerpillars!"

"I'm going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, tell them, I'm outstanding."

"Waitress: Would you prefer your order with a side of fries or salad? Me: Would you prefer your tip with cash or advice?"