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Joke of the Day

"6'5"" guy: [starts a fight with me at the bar] me: [hides behind GF] GF: HEY, WHAT THE F- me: look, we need more strong female lead char-"

"My attempt to write from a woman's perspective: ""She carried her boobs to the station. 'They're staring at my boobs,' she thought boobily."""

"When I was young, losing teeth would earn me money. Now I'm old, earning money will gain me teeth."

"Mothers are always one question from ruining your day."

"What do you call two gay Irish partners? John Fitzpatrick and Patrick Fitzjohn"

"I replaced the spare tire in my car with a box of wine. I've no idea how to change a tire, & I bet I'll need a drink as I wait for a ride."

"What is the difference between Susan Boyle and a aircondtioner? An aircondtior can be hot"

"""Lets put the slowest computer ever into the gas pump & make people answer 15 questions before we allow them to pump gas"" - Pump Engineers"

"Dad, Why was Mahatma Gandhi bald ""Because he always spoke the truth"" ""Oh! That's why woman have long hair"""

"Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here"