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Joke of the Day

"I hear the Star Wars universe is so advanced, you can get Chinese food directly over the internet... They use an e-wok."

"What did the grape say when she let her kids play in the sun to long? I hate raisin kids!"

"What is a mattress' favorite season? Spring."

"I like my women like I like my tea Red Bush."

"My doctor said I had an iron deficiency and I asked him how he could tell. He pointed at my crinkled shirt."

"What's the difference between family bonding and family bondage? One is forced and borderline torture, the other is sex."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a minute to get hard, I just got laid by a chicken"

"GOD: look what I created [points to clouds] ANGEL: what am I lookin at? GOD: Is it a bunny? A man face? It's up to you! ANGEL: are you high?"

"What would Inception: The Porno be called? Contraception."

"Where are the longest hairs of the body? Inside the nose. Because every time you pull one, you feel the pain until your ass."