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Joke of the Day

"Try this for fun: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on people's cars saying ""Sorry for the damage."" Watching them is priceless."

"Shoplifting or rape If you have sex with a prostitue and pay with a cheque that bounces is it shoplifting or rape?"

"Dance like no one's a werewolf. Eat like you found it in the couch. Shout like your cat's sleeping. Feel good like a bossy poem told you to."

"What did the unimpressed cheese say? Que... so?"

"Ladies, you should know that if I invite you to a movie I'm only after one thing: someone with a big purse I can store all my snacks in."

"""Knock Knock."", ""Who's there?"" I Eat Map"

"Fun fact: When swimming upstream, salmon can jump up as high as 6 feet. Unless its a white salmon."

"People say I'm the Lebron James of Comedy... Because I'm balding and Delonte West had sex with my mother"

"How do you get a free flight at an airport? Take the stairs."

"What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk... budumdum tssssss"