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Joke of the Day

"It's Thanksgiving today. Long story short it's where Americans give thanks to the English for inventing them. You're welcome."

"I put a picture of myself in a locket. You could say I'm... independent"

"I went to a zoo yesterday... but they only had one dog! it was a shitzu (shit zoo)"

"I hate it when I'm watching porn and suddenly there's a man's butthole right in my face. And I'm like ""go away, dad. I'm watching porn."""

"What is a chiropractor's favorite movie? Thoracic Park"

"It sucks that slavery is illegal now... We have to get them from the black market these days."

"Everyone wants a bigger house until you have to dust Now I'm dreaming of a one room shanty inside a bubble"

"Baltimore CVS Looters They really cleaned the place out. The only things they left behind are sunscreen and Father's Day cards."

"Why is a beer like a woman? After you drink one you can't shut up or drive."

"People are obsessed with this storm but in ten years no one will talk about it anymore, which is why they named it after the movie Juno."