95105

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a week-old human and a weak, old human? About eighty years"

"Date: Are you ready to take on another man's child? Me: yes Later- Date: This is.. *I knock her kid out with one punch Me: too easy!"

"Sports Hockey has the Blues. Football has the Browns. Baseball has the Reds. What does basketball have? l l l l l The Blacks."

"I secretly like days when none of my facebook friends have birthdays."

"Do you know what the best part about banging 21 year olds is? There's 21 of them."

"Lol ""I'm not a pervert, I'm just a connoisseur of ass and titties."" My response after a female co-worker called me a pervert for commenting on a customer's ass as she walked past us."

"Just got home and found all the doors and windows wide open and everything gone... What kind of sick person would do this to my Advent calendar?"

"[first date] Him: Let's take the stairs! Me: I think we should see other people."

"I like my internet like I dislike my women. Not going down on me."

"90% of the internet is people who don't know anything having their questions answered by people who don't know anything."