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Joke of the Day

"A watermelon walks up to a sprinkler And says to the sprinkler, ""Water me lon!"" Original joke from a friend of mine!"

"How many vowels are in the word 'vowel'? Four. O, double-u and e."

"Late night phone convo BF: Ok you hang up GF: No, you hang up BF: No, you first GF: Nooo, you first NSA: Shut the fuck up and hang up already!"

"""Hello?"" Dad come get me from practice ""Sorry I'm going into a tunnel"" *sound of mom giggling* But I called the *connection drops* ...landline"

"Me: did you know that abbreviating names can be really confusing? GF: really? Me: yeah George Foreman: that's interesting"

"I was arrested yesterday for stealing eggs. I could've sworn they were free range."

"I don't believe in ghosts. They're always lying to me."

"If a girl has sex with many guys, she's called a slut, but if a guy does the same... ... he's called gay."

"Hey, college students: It gets debtor."

"What's brown and sticky? The contents of my pants."