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Joke of the Day
"How many vowels are in the word 'vowel'? Four. O, double-u and e."
Next Joke
"Why did god invent whiskey? (x-post /r/drunkjokes) So the Irish would never rule the world"
"A man says to his wife, ""I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad."" She thinks for a minute then replies, ""you have the biggest penis out of all your friends."""
"Roses Are Red... Roses are red, Voilets are violet, This misconseption Makes me violent"
"DM: I'm 10 inches. Wanna chat? Me: omg guys, a fetus just messaged me!!"
"I'm curious about the first person who saw an egg drop out of a chicken & said, ""I'm going to eat that."""
"Who the hell buys a cat? There are cats everywhere just let one in your home and it becomes your cat."
"Dear MTV, I was wondering if I could get my ""M"" back..... you know, since you're not using it. Sincerely, _usic"
"Lord give me coffee to change the things I can...and vodka to accept the things I cannot. Amen!"
"What do gyms and prisons have in common? They both have ripped assholes"