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Joke of the Day

"""Hello?"" Dad come get me from practice ""Sorry I'm going into a tunnel"" *sound of mom giggling* But I called the *connection drops* ...landline"

"What's the worst part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair."

"How do you make an egg laugh? Tell it a yolk."

"I'm pro-choice; pro-life is for babies."

"A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. ""Have you had any bites?"" asked the second man. ""Yes lots"" replied the first one ""but they were all mosquitoes."""

"what's called smart annoying orange a knowing orange"

"LPT: If a sexy hot girl adds you on Facebook... REJECT HIM!!!"

"Been getting better gas mileage since I decided to turn off my car when I'm crying alone in parking lots."

"It creeps me out when my dog watches my wife and I have sex. We hide the videotapes, but he always finds them."

"If Obama wins I'm leaving the country. If Romney wins I'm leaving the country. This is not a political Tweet I just want to travel."