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Joke of the Day

"Late night phone convo BF: Ok you hang up GF: No, you hang up BF: No, you first GF: Nooo, you first NSA: Shut the fuck up and hang up already!"

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"Why do Mexicans make tamales for Christmas? To have something to unwrap."
"[Border control] Officer: ""You're not American."" Me: ""Deep."" *Officer squints* M: ""Fried."" *squints harder* M: ""Guns."" ""Welcome back, Sir."""
"""OMGJK"" -atheists"
"My Mexican teacher asked for a 2 page essay, he wasn't happy when I brought him Juan. Thought this up in the car and thought the nice people of the Internet would want to know :)"
"""No pressure, but my happiness is totally dependent on you."" - soulmates"
"I'm ONLY remembering to drink fluids because you told me to. NOT because fluids are literally the only thing you CAN drink, KAREN."
"Did you hear what that guy said to the Reddit moderator the other day? **[Deleted]**"
"Oh, you're talking to me again. Did you just break up with your boyfriend?"
"I like my women as I like my classical regression model estimators: consistent, efficient, and fucking unbiased."
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