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Joke of the Day

"Me: Yes, I'd like the Mexican massage. Masseuse: The what? Me: *hands him taco seasoning and sour cream* Masseuse: Me: Let's go, chop chop."

"A girl tells her Irish mom she wants to be a prostitute. 'A WHAT?' The mother shouts. 'A prostitute' replies the girl. 'OH thank god!! I thought you wanted to become Protestant!"

"One social worker asks another ""What time is it?"" The second replies, ""I don't know, I'm not wearing a watch."" The first says, ""That's OK, the important thing is we talked about it."""

"drugs lead to nowhere....but at least its the scenic route"

"What is the difference between an oil painting and Jesus? It only takes one nail to hang an oil painting."

"Listing all my single socks on match.com."

"If my mobile provider started charging 3 times as much as their nearest competitor but there was no voicemail, I'd still stay with them."

"Some people just don't understand evolution. I was talking to an Australian the other day who actually thought *he* came from Darwin! All credit to Milton Jones for that one."

"When she tells you to go deeper But your all out of poems"

"Someone asked me the other day, ""What's with those clogs you keep wearing?"" I replied, ""Wooden shoe like to know."""