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Joke of the Day

"Pavlov walks into a bar and hears a loud bell. ""Oh shit,"" he exclaims. ""I forgot to feed my dogs."""

"I was so shocked when my girlfriend called me a lazy piece of shit in Walmart the other day that I almost fell off my motorized scooter."

"I once tried to write a book about my thoughts But there's only so much you can put in a suicide note."

"Why are Mexicans called spics? Because they spic spanish."

"Just saw a girl in cutoff jean shorts so unbelievable short that you could see private parts sticking out the bottom of mine."

"When life gives you melons, You might be dyslexic."

"Unfortunately Katy Perry, I couldn't fit in the skin tight jeans so instead of a teenage dream my husband gets Blair Witch."

"I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off"

"Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"Full Disclosure: I get most of my jokes from a 13 year old Amish kid named Caleb."