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Joke of the Day

"oh the aliens aren't speaking to us right now because idk they're pissed that we flaked out on that pyramid project they started or whatever"

"I picked up a girl at a bar. She told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt... So I screwed her three times and hit her with a brick."

"Reports of a man being shot with a starters pistol.. Police think it may be race related"

"I like my TVs like I like my women... Smart and curved."

"knock knock whos there?"

"I couldn't get past first base with the native girl she had her reservations"

"It's hard to get a lot done when you're busy having a snack every 15 minutes"

"Yesterday, I subscribed to Bigflix ...And now my new favorite word starts with a P and ends with O R N... That's ""Popcorn""!! What were you thinking you pervert!!!"

"""Disney movies promote false images of the friendliness of woodland creatures,"" I mutter after each rabies shot."

"Donkeys kill more people annually than airplanes do. So watch your ass."